Why Being Extra Isn't Bad (And I'm Tired of Pretending Otherwise)
What Does Being Extra Mean?
Hi Friends!
Today, I want to chat about something close to my heart: being extra! You know when we feel a little judged for our unique style or exuberant personality? Well, I'm here to tell you why being extra is not just okay but actually pretty awesome!
Being extra isn't just a phrase, it's a whole vibe - it's about living life to the fullest and dazzling with our fabulous flair. Take my style icon, Fran Fine, for example. Those flashy outfits and bold accessories make me feel confident, not ashamed! It's not just about fashion, it's about celebrating individuality and self-expression in the coolest way.
Being extra is also about celebrating every tiny detail of life, from planning an unforgettable Friendsgiving to hosting a bridal brunch that leaves everyone buzzing. I love creating experiences that stay with people long after the event. Life should feel like a party, and I'm all about making that happen!
Friendsgiving 2023
Why Being Extra Is Actually The Best
Individuality and Self-Expression
Growing up in a small town south of Boston, I always felt like the odd one out. Everyone seemed to fit into specific molds, but I quickly learned that my uniqueness was incredibly freeing. I've always been a bit extra, and I see myself as the "Barbie" of my friend group – always up for a good time and willing to go all out!
One of my favorite memories is planning my best friend's bridal brunch. I poured my heart into every detail, from setting up a custom mimosa bar to creating a DIY photo booth with fun props. It was a day filled with love and laughter, and our shared joy was priceless. Being extra is a powerful form of self-expression, allowing me to bring unforgettable experiences to life.
Creativity as a Lifestyle
I love bringing people together and creating unforgettable experiences. Last year, I organized a party for a close friend, where I transformed my living room into a dreamy garden party with fairy lights, flowers everywhere, and a dessert table that looked like it belonged in a magazine. The centerpiece? A gorgeous cake adorned with fresh blooms that I had painstakingly arranged.
I'm all about crafting menus that cater to everyone's tastes. I planned the food for the party meticulously, considering dietary restrictions while ensuring everything looked picture-perfect. I even collaborated with a local bakery to create a stunning dessert. When the guests arrived, their faces lit up with delight as they entered the whimsical atmosphere I had made.
I love incorporating themes that resonate with my friends, from retro '90s parties to whimsical tea parties. Each event is a chance to express my creativity and bring joy to those around me. Seeing my friends laugh, dance, and enjoy themselves in the space I've created is the ultimate reward. I can't wait to plan the next unforgettable gathering!
Connections and Building Community
My personality has brought some amazing opportunities into my life. People often tell me that my energy is infectious. Being genuine in my interactions helps me build deep connections with others. It's like a superpower! For instance, one of my most unserious examples is that I was the only one of my friends brave enough to go up to Johnny Bananas at a club back in the day, and now I have this super cool picture of me being sweaty next to a reality TV villain legend! LOL
Me and Johnny Bananas circa… 2015???
But let's be real, I've also faced negativity. Some folks can't handle my energy and have made snide comments about my personality and fashion choices. You know the type—judgy, holier-than-thou, and repressed. I've learned to see past their negativity and recognize that their judgments often stem from their own insecurities. It's been a journey, but it's helped me understand and empathize with their struggles.
Overcome Judgment and Stay True to You
Dealing with Negativity
Dealing with negativity is tough, but I've learned to handle it by staying true to myself. When faced with criticism, I remind myself that others' opinions don't determine my worth. Over the years, I've developed a thick skin from navigating social situations and dealing with judgmental comments. It's been a journey of self-acceptance, understanding, and finding my individuality as my strength.
Instead of backing down, I take a moment to reflect on who I am. As a Leo sun, moon, and rising, I embody the sun's bright, warm, and illuminating energy. I've come to love my boldness and creativity, seeing them as what makes me special. When someone tries to dull my sparkle, I respond with even more confidence and pizzazz. It's empowering to know that my uniqueness is what sets me apart.
Creating a Supportive Environment
My fiancé, Jon, is such an amazing supporter in this regard. From the start, he's glorified my fun and excitable side. We love doing life together, whether it's planning themed dinner parties or just chilling out with our favorite sitcoms. Our relationship is about love, encouragement, and celebrating each other's creativity.
Jon always tells me that one of the things he loves most about me is my ability to turn everyday moments into something special. He jokes that I could make a trip to the grocery store feel like an adventure, and you know what? He's right! I have this natural excitement for life that makes even the simplest things feel extraordinary.
Jon and I on Halloween 2016
Shine Your Inner Star
Remember this: never dim your sparkle. You're uniquely you for a reason! Your features and genuineness make you shine, and the world could use more of that. I always tell myself I was born to stand out, not blend in. The times I've played up my extra side have been the most fulfilling, and I can't picture living any other way. I've realized that confidence is magnetic—when you accept your true self, others are drawn to your authenticity.
Humor as a Coping Mechanism
Humor has always been my secret weapon for dealing with judgment and negativity. It can turn tension into laughter, and suddenly, I'm in control. My fiancé even teases me, saying I'm the modern-day Lucille Ball, and I take that as a huge compliment! Jokes and humor help me lighten the mood and savor life, turning challenges into joyous opportunities!
One of my all-time favorite memories is from a party I organized. I accidentally spilled a drink all over myself, but instead of getting flustered, I turned it into a joke by saying, "I'm just testing out tie-dye technique!" The laughter that followed turned what could have been an embarrassing moment into a cherished memory, and my friends still talk about that night.
The Importance of Vulnerability
You know, vulnerability is often seen as a weakness, but I've come to realize that it's actually a profound strength. When I share my true self, mistakes and all, it invites others to be genuine with me. It creates a space of trust and authenticity that's really special. When I open up about my experiences—the good and the not-so-good—I've found that others feel inspired to do the same.
I've learned that imperfection is beautiful in a world that often seems fixated on perfection. I've been open about my struggles with anxiety and self-doubt, and it's incredible how many people in my community have resonated with that. Hearing that my story has encouraged others to be their authentic selves and celebrate their unique traits is empowering.
After sharing some personal stories, I've been blown away by the messages I've received from listeners. So many people have reached out to thank me for being honest and sharing my experiences. They've told me that hearing my story has given them the courage to claim their personalities rather than hide them. It's reinforced my belief that vulnerability is a powerful tool for connection and healing.
Reframing the Narrative
So, I've realized that when people criticize you for being too much, it's often more about them than you. Instead of letting their negativity bring me down, I've learned to see it as a reflection of their struggles and insecurities. It's like, what if their discomfort is their way of dealing with their own issues, you know?
People are drawn to authenticity, and those who criticize usually just project their own insecurities. This mindset has empowered me to stay true to myself and keep shining, no matter what.
I'll never forget this gathering where I decided to wear this bold, colorful dress that turned some heads. At first, I noticed a few people shooting me skeptical glances, but I didn't let that stop me from having a good time. I danced like nobody was watching, and you know what? Soon enough, everyone else joined in! It was such a cool reminder that joy is contagious.
By just being my colorful self, I showed others that letting loose and enjoying the moment is okay. I opened the door for everyone to have a good time, and that's an incredible feeling.
Building a Community of Extra Souls
Creating a supportive community is paramount in celebrating our extra sides. I often surround myself with like-minded individuals who appreciate the beauty of flamboyance and creativity. These friends cheer me on during my wildest endeavors and share my passion for unforgettable experiences.
My community has become a safe haven where we can all be our most authentic selves, free from judgment. We share tips on hosting fabulous events, ideas for creative projects, and endless laughter. Having a circle that celebrates being extra makes life feel all the more magical.
Incorporating Extra into Everyday Life
One of the most rewarding aspects of my “extra” nature is finding ways to make everyday activities more fun! From my morning routine to my daily meals, I've discovered that every moment can be an opportunity to celebrate life.
For instance, I've turned meal prep into a delightful experience. Rather than simply cooking, I make it a point to dress up my meals. I plate dishes beautifully, adding garnishes that bring color and life to my plate. Cooking has become a form of art, and I take immense pleasure in presenting my meals in a way that feels special.
Just the other day, I decided to host a cozy movie night at home. Instead of the usual popcorn, I created a DIY popcorn bar with various toppings, colorful candies, and flavors. I decorated my living room with fairy lights, transforming it into a cozy haven!
Taking Risks and life as an Adventure
Being extra often means stepping outside of comfort zones and meaningful new adventures. I've found that taking risks is essential to personal growth. Whether trying a new hobby, an impromptu trip, or experimenting with a bold fashion choice, each experience is a chance to learn and grow.
The best part? It strengthened my belief that being extra means being open to life's surprises. By letting go of expectations and allowing myself to be silly and spontaneous, I've found that life becomes richer and more enjoyable.
Learning from the Journey
I've learned that it's okay to stumble along the way. Not every event I plan goes off without a hitch, and that's perfectly fine! I remember the time I accidentally burned the dessert I had painstakingly prepared for a gathering. Instead of panicking, I turned it into a funny story, and my friends couldn't stop laughing. We ended up sharing a different dessert, making it a memorable evening nonetheless.
Mistakes and missteps are simply part of the process, and each experience teaches me valuable lessons. I've learned to love my imperfections and find beauty in spontaneity.
Own Your Extra
In a world that often encourages conformity, I urge you to love your extra self. Whether through fashion, creativity or simply being unapologetically you, own it! Celebrate your individuality and invite others to join you in that celebration.
Share your quirks, passions, and personality with the world. Start small—perhaps by trying out a bold new outfit or planning a themed dinner party for your friends. Notice how expressing yourself authentically feels and watch those around you respond positively.
Engage with your community, find fellow extra souls, and uplift each other. Together, we can create an environment where everyone feels celebrated and free to express their true selves. Let's champion each other's uniqueness and redefine what it means to be extra!
Final Thoughts: Let Your Light Shine
As I wrap up this post, I want to remind you that being extra is not just about the glitz and glamour, it's about noticing and opening up the full spectrum of who you are. It's about creating a life that feels true to you and inviting others along for the ride.
Let your light shine brightly and inspire those around you to do the same. Celebrate your realness, passions, and the little details that make life extraordinary. Life is too short to be anything but fabulous, so go out there and be unapologetically you!
Remember, friends, the world needs your sparkle. Never be afraid to be extra—it makes you uniquely you!
